Peaceful Heart Vital Body

Energy and Vitality in the midst of Life's Changes



The Hardest Part

Posted on August 28, 2018 at 12:20 AM

They say, "two years". Apparently it takes two years to really grieve.

When things change, when someone dies, when we are confronted and moved by endings in our lives, we may not grieve. We may avoid grieving and just "get on with it". We may not stop. Or we may stop. And grieve. And take time.

And if we do take time, we realize that there is no real "closure". There is no real end to our grief. "Two years" is arbitrary, a random guess. The grief continues. It does not stop and may not even quieten down to a simmer. It lives within us. It lives with us. An animal within our cells, within the blood stream, in the muscles, deep in the bones, opening, closing, breathing, yawning, sometimes sleeping, sometimes screaming. And this is the hardest part.

If we have never loved ourselves before, we need to love ourselves in grief.

And it is so hard not to be consumed with the richness of the past. How to reconcile that with the present and future which at times seem so empty? How hard must we work to recreate something of what we have lost?

If you never loved yourself before, love yourself in grief. If you have never trusted yourself, trust yourself now.

That small-eyed animal wraps itself up like a child, struggles and resists, feels with terrifying passion, knows no words and is never comfortable.

People around will forget. They will assume all is well. They were there when first it happened. They have moved on.

You will not move on, but with.

There is no work to be done. There is nothing to overcome. There is nothing to change. That is the hardest part.

Be still.

Life, rich before, is even richer now. Thoughts are clearer, feelings are fiercer, understanding is deeper, the heart is more open.

Be still. The animal inside is keeping you alive.

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