|Posted on 5 September, 2018 at 21:45||comments (0)|
Are you the "Black Sheep" in your family? Of course, if not, I'm sure you can immediately name the one in your family who was and is somehow different from the rest..? I was not. But my brother was labelled as such, mainly because he was not a classical musician but preferred guitar and playing the Blues. Families have a specific dynamic, stories they tell which keep everyone in a certain role so that things can run smoothly. Perhaps the black sheep is the one who resists the role assigned to them. They are also often the ones who highlight the issues nobody in the family wants to acknowledge!
As we all grew up and went our different ways, it became clear to me that we were all, in our own ways, "black sheep". We found our own, individual feet. We also carried similar burdens, dealt with in our own ways.
I have met others who are considered odd in the family, or problematic or in need of extra attention and learned early on that it is the dynamic of the family itself which needs to change. This is much easier said than done! But in looking at the one who is consuming all the attention, I often see an accumulation of energy in the Base Chakra. This is the energy centre at the base of the spine and connected to the legs, feet and pubic bone and is connected with trust, survival and basic needs. In these situations, I see it as a bit of a messy conglomeration of old, familial energies which are affecting all other energies in the energy body.If there was famine and scarcity experienced by the ancestors, for instance, the tendency in the individual may be to put on a lot of weight. If there was once war and struggle, war and struggle may be what they still carry. I feel this is epidemic, as our history as a race is so full of struggle.
These things are not difficult to address but may take some time to clear and hopefully other family members are open to the process. Clearing energy centres and taking Bush Essences are a good start.
I have recently discovered that the beautiful Bush Iris is a lovely one to clear the Base Chakra, which keeps us in survival: fight/flight/freeze, distrust and fear of life's processes. Boab has always been used for clearing ancestral and familial issues which might keep us stuck and in this way, it, too, clears out the dysfunction of familial patterns. It is a good idea for other family members to take the essences too.
It is so liberating to clear ourselves of old pain. It opens us up to so much. We need to understand more deeply the struggles of the past, so we can see ourselves clearly and make conscious choices. At this time of so much reaction, fear and even hatred of "the other", we can also start to see others clearly and without judgement. While loving and holding our family close, we can start to see the patterns of the past. And with great respect, acknowledge the wisdom of our ancestry and make our own choices in the here and now.
|Posted on 28 August, 2018 at 0:20||comments (0)|
They say, "two years". Apparently it takes two years to really grieve.
When things change, when someone dies, when we are confronted and moved by endings in our lives, we may not grieve. We may avoid grieving and just "get on with it". We may not stop. Or we may stop. And grieve. And take time.
And if we do take time, we realize that there is no real "closure". There is no real end to our grief. "Two years" is arbitrary, a random guess. The grief continues. It does not stop and may not even quieten down to a simmer. It lives within us. It lives with us. An animal within our cells, within the blood stream, in the muscles, deep in the bones, opening, closing, breathing, yawning, sometimes sleeping, sometimes screaming. And this is the hardest part.
If we have never loved ourselves before, we need to love ourselves in grief.
And it is so hard not to be consumed with the richness of the past. How to reconcile that with the present and future which at times seem so empty? How hard must we work to recreate something of what we have lost?
If you never loved yourself before, love yourself in grief. If you have never trusted yourself, trust yourself now.
That small-eyed animal wraps itself up like a child, struggles and resists, feels with terrifying passion, knows no words and is never comfortable.
People around will forget. They will assume all is well. They were there when first it happened. They have moved on.
You will not move on, but with.
There is no work to be done. There is nothing to overcome. There is nothing to change. That is the hardest part.
Life, rich before, is even richer now. Thoughts are clearer, feelings are fiercer, understanding is deeper, the heart is more open.
Be still. The animal inside is keeping you alive.